;Nobody can see affliction

,But deeply feel how it taste

.Many have no one to talk

...And bitterness trouble their mind

Despair, hardship, affliction

.Reveal, in the depth of our heart, the thirst

! Which this world can never quench

.How precious our Heavenly Father sees our grievances

His eyes are upon them that hope in His mercy

“Yet the Lord will command His loving kindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life.” (Psalms 42:8)

Childhood—– tumbling from happiness to fright

When I was young, my family was poor. All the six of us could only live in a 100 sq. ft squatter on the roof of a block. My daily entertainments were building blocks and paper folding. The best enjoyment was listening to father’s folklores with my younger brother before going to bed. I was most impressed by ‘Legend of the General Who Never Was’. At that time, I felt warmth, content and happiness in my heart.

Then, a new TV was installed. That was mother’s means to ‘suppress’ the active cells in restless children like us, so as to minimize household accidents. However, one day, the TV was gone. Another day, the sewing machine was also gone. Then, even mother disappeared one or two days occasionally. Only later did I learn that she was angered by father’s addiction to gambling and stayed in auntie’s house for a while. Of course, the missing stuffs did not walk away by themselves but were sold at slashed prices by father for his bet!

I was nine when my family moved from Kowloon to Tuen Mun. On the second day in the new house, father and mother had a brawl on money problem. In the following year, the loan sharks began coming for the loan repayment late in the night. They even hit father and threatened mother. My brothers and I were so frightened that we buried our heads in the duvet. A lot of large sized words about father’s unpaying his debt were sprayed in the corridor and foyer as ‘souvenirs’. From that time on, I rarely slept well─being scared of my parents’ quarrel or a sudden knock on the door in the night….I had no sense of safety. To be true, there were too many embarrassing matters about my home to be listed.

Luckily, in that year, I joined the Sunday school held by the kindergarten downstairs every Sunday. Singing, storytelling and playing games all delighted me. I found a little comfort amid my poverty. However, I was not yet aware that it was God’s plan to plough the seeds of love in my young heart.

Days of Youth— besieged by emptiness and depression

In one of my early secondary years, mother again was absent from home. One night, two nights, three nights, one week….we understood that mother would never come home again. Nevertheless, I felt relieved because at least I would not be awakened from sleep by their quarrels. No longer did I need to pretend sleeping to prevent their flames of fury from spreading onto me.

As father was often away from home as well, my siblings and I were left unattended in the following years. We survived in our own ways. Mother paid the rent and the electricity bills but expenses at school had to come from our part time work.

In those years without parents’ restraint, I automatically got to school early in the morning—for coping my homework. Teachers or classmates never asked me about my family condition as my performance was not bad and I was eager participating in team activities such as long run, trampoline, soccer. I was the prefect and club administrator as well. Outside the school, I took part in multiple activities: snooker, bowling, roller skating, going to game centres, hiking, canoeing, camping, karaoke..etc. I gambled with classmates and friends into the night or drank and chatted at the pier until I dropped off in the early hours. When awakened by the chilly gust, I staggered home—the messy home. In those days, I had all kinds of enjoyment and ‘freedom’, but the unknown feeling of emptiness and boredom giving rise to my sullenness could not be rid of. I did not know the meaning and direction of my life. Underlying my activeness were gloominess and depression. I was caught in confusion. Once when I went to the school for revision in the holidays, perhaps because I was bored to death, I continually kicked the storeroom door vigorously with my schoolmates. After our ‘hard work’ for more than an hour, the door and the frame were destroyed. Frankly speaking, I was very much scared to be discovered by the school.

Another time, I gambled with my schoolmates the whole night and ended up with a loss of $20. My friend said as $20 could get entertainment for one whole night, it was worth the while. But I was thinking: after wasting a night’s time and so much energy, it was not happiness that I got but losing money; how could we call it ‘worthwhile’ ?

After quite a long time, I contacted the church and attended their meetings on my own. On hearing the testimonies of Christains’ having their lives changed and a hymn about how Jesus gives us abundant lives, I suddenly saw the light. It was what I had been looking for—the change in life! That time I tried to accept Jesus Christ.

After believing in God ─ enrichment in life, contentment of mind

After I had become a Christian, God the Father answered my prayer. We could have a transfer and live with mother again. As I had God’s love, the feeling of emptiness, loneliness and depression disappeared. I felt relieved and no longer required gambling and drinking for enjoyment. My gaiety and contentment of mind were beyond words. Moreover, my life in the church was fruitful. Apart from having meetings with brothers and sisters to learn about God’s love, we went hiking, playing ball games, camping and marathoning. We also challenged the ‘Trailwalker’ (a charity fund-raising 100 km. hiking). All these varied activities richly coloured my life.

For a few years, I had the chance to go to a poor Central American country to help building the church. Those attending the gospel meeting ranged from 6-7 to 80-90 years of age. We were like one family. I also went to Szechuan and Canada as a volunteer. I felt my life so meaningful and valuable.

I give thanks to God. Though I was brought up in a dysfunctional family, I have found real happiness in God’s love after I knew Him. And I have met many sincere friends in the church and tasted the care and warmth I always lacked in my early years. What touches me most is our Heavenly Father’s unfathomable grace and affection and the everlasting love of Jesus. Because of them, I can be full of hope when I encounter despair, setback or adversities. Wherever I am, His almighty supportive hand is always by my side.

Now, I am the father of three children. Our family is not well-off but we feel spiritual abundance. I have my own family and God’s family. All these are most precious presents from The Heavenly Father and The Lord Jesus.

I do hope that you have a part in the blessings God has prepared for you.

A kid’s heart should only carry family love and affection. A youngster’s bosom should embrace sunlight and laughter. A broken family deprives a child of a smiling face but replaces it with a gloomy heart. Youngsters are not good in expressing themselves. When they are struggling to grow up, they are often at a loss. Not knowing how to vent their frustration, they usually look for satisfaction in wrong ways.

“But I trust in the Lord. I will be glad and rejoice in Thy mercy: for Thou hast considered my trouble; Thou hast known my soul in adversities.” (Psalms 31: 6-7)

Only our loving Heavenly Father will never abandon us. He is waiting for us to know him and to heal the wounds in our heart. Let us experience Our Father’s eternal love and be strong in the power of His might, so that we can stride forth with confidence and hope for the future.

I hope that you can know about God and His salvation and start an abundant life in Him.